


Strange Strawberry Sorbet

by lantia4ever



Series: Of Overqualified Hands & Pi Figures (IronStrange) [8]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Dating, Fluff, Humor, I'm not even sorry though, M/M, Matchmaking, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Supremefamily, The Cloak is too but he's a closeted one, Wong is Tony's number one stan, and Mememaster, and Peter is the Supreme Matchmaker, because the parents are oblivious idiots, blame Despacito, kind of, lot of movies references, oblivious Stephen, plus Harley Keener, savage Wong, the kids have a plan, too many memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-22 23:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15592758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lantia4ever/pseuds/lantia4ever
Summary: After the realization came the denial, immediately followed by depression. So what if Stephen might kind of...maybe...sort of...bein likewith Tony. Tony deserves better than a nobody, hobo sorcerer with blasted, shaking hands and the only thing going for him being magicky party tricks he's questionably good at.Stephen will absolutely NOT ask Tony out on a date, let alone confess to the myriad of feelings he has for the man.Then again, Peter Parker doesn't need permission to spin his webs like the puppetmaster he is and this time, this time he brought reinforcements.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! ^^
> 
> So after getting cooked, baked, grilled and finally burned to a crips by that damn scorching thing in the sky, I somehow found the will to live and write some more of this verse :'D And it's all fun and fluff. Mark my words. Fun and fluff. All of it. Almost all of it anyway. At least 98,5% of it. At least. *coughdatendingthocough*
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy and let me know what you think! ^^ ...seriously though...enjoy. While you can. *looks at the next installment and grins the most evil of grins*

“Are you going to give me this look every day now?” Stephen crosses his arms and tries to burn Wong’s nonplused expression away with a glare.

“That depends.”

He gives him twenty rapid, tiny nods, hoping to hear the end of that thought before he starts looking like the funky bobbing heads people stick to their dashboards. “ _On_???”

“On how long it takes you to _do_ something about this,” he replies in the same, bored tone he uses when he believes he’s dealing with some major bullshit. Needless to say, he uses that tone with Stephen a LOT as of late.

“Do someth…like _what_!”

Wong shrugs, takes a purposefully slow sip of his tea, puts the cup back into the saucer just as slowly and then regards him with his renewed bitch face. “Oh I don’t know…whatever it is kids do these days. Send suggestive PM’s on Instagram, change your status on Facebook or you can totally start with _telling him_. And _asking him out_. _On a date_ ,” he spells out, cracking a grin that widens with very word. “Very old fashioned but at the same time very effective.”

Stephen takes a breath to calm down before he snaps and does something drastic to the other sorcerer…like delete all the songs on his iPod and replace them with ten-hour-versions of awful meme songs. “First, I do not – I repeat – DO NOT need a dating advice from a hermit sorcerer like you and second, it’s not that simple!”

Wong’s eyes darken, the grin suddenly becoming sinister. “First, just because I don’t gossip about my love life with _you_ doesn’t mean I don’t have any and second, yes. Yes, it is that simple.”

Deciding to completely ignore that disturbing first piece of information, Stephen quickly shakes his head to forget all about it and focuses on the second one. “No. No, it’s not.”

“It is.”

“Is not!”

“Is too.”

“What are we, twelve?!”

“You might as well be. Although even a twelve year old might have enough mental capacity and _balls_ to go and ask someone out!”

“This has nothing to do with - ”

“Oh please, the only reason you’re not in the Compound right now making out with the man is because you’re _scared_. Sorcerer Supreme…more like Coward Supreme.”

Stephen stands up from the sofa, towering over the sorcerer comfortably sitting in the armchair and currently sporting a very shit-eating grin. “You take that back right now.”

“Why? It’s true.”

“Is not!”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake you _are_ twelve! Alright. I’ll take it back… _when you go ask him out_ and prove me wrong!”

Stephen flails, his wannabe intimidating move clearly having zero effect.

“What are you even afraid of? It’s not like he’s going to say no.”

“Oh really? And where do you keep your all-knowing crystal ball, hm?”

“ _He gave you his phone number_. Years ago!”

“That was before - ”

“Before what? Before you became a penniless hobo wizard without a paid job?”

 _Pretty much_. Stephen nods, keeping his stubborn flare.

“If you think he gives a damn about that, then maybe you need to reconsider your opinion of the man.”

“He doesn’t date men.”

“His dating history says otherwise and then there’s his blatantly open bisexuality _everyone_ knows about.”

“And you know that because you’re his biggest fangirl, don’t you?” Stephen scoffs, sitting back down.

“His number one stan. And damn straight I am!”

“Well maybe _you_ should go ask him out!”

Wong’s grin melts back into his default stare as he leans back into the armchair. “Maybe I will,” he says, raising a daring eyebrow.

“Yeah, right.”

“Try me,” Wong threatens and goes back to sipping his tea.

“Fine! You know what? Do whatever you want! I’m out!” he announces and all that’s left to make him look like a preschooler throwing a tantrum is stomping with his foot before portalling out of the Sanctum…to the Compound.

Because _of course_ that would be the first place he would think of.

“God dammit, Wong,” he mumbles and walks inside.

It’s not like he has anything better to do, so he might as well hang out in the lab for a while. While _absolutely not asking Tony out anywhere_!

When he descents to Tony’s lab, the door opening without any prompting, instead of finding the engineer inside he comes face to face with four very deer-in-headlights looking teenagers.

“DOCTOR WIZARD!” Peter greets him immediately, the constipated look on his face only intensifying.

“That is him?” the quite majestic looking girl asks with a curious accent.

“Uh-hm,” Ned answers, unusually quiet and with a lot less animated motions.

“Looked taller on the internet,” the unknown fourth teen shrugs while looking Stephen over, not at all impressed.

Stephen narrows his eyes, snapping his gaze to the spiderboy. “Peter. Ned,” he nods at the two. “What is this, some afterschool lab club I don’t know about?”

Ned quickly nods yes while Peter shakes his head no and the second they notice they’re sending some suspiciously mixed signals, each does the opposite at the same time again – making it look even more suspicious.

“Well…it’s…this is Harley!” Peter jumps over to the tall-ish, somewhat blonde teen. “He’s here for a week from Tennessee. He’s a friend of ours…and Mr. Stark’s! And this is Princess Shuri!”

The girl smiles, giving Stephen a court nod he returns, while the other kid – Harley? – just keeps on inspecting him with curiosity.

“From Wakanda. She…we…,” Peter stutters so Stephen decides to take pity on him.

“Yes. Tony did mention something about her coming here for a few days. You, not so much,” he looks at Harley, mirroring his unimpressed expression.

“The roof on our school collapsed,” the kid shrugs again, saying it almost with the same bored tone Wong used on him just moments ago. “Too much snow or something. So we have a week off before they repair it and stuff.”

Which explains why he’s not in Tennessee doing his homework, but not what he’s doing _here_. Or why does Tony know a random kid from Tennessee.

“Where’s Tony?”

“Mr. Stark went to get us all ice-cream! He should be back any minute!” Peter blurts out, Ned nodding furiously in agreement.

Something shady is definitely going on here.

“Ice-cream. Huh. I thought he’s giving up dairy.”

“I was trying to but then Ben&Jerry’s named a flavor after me so…,” Tony walks in on them, a bag of goodies in hand.

“Stark’s Raving Hazelnuts?” he immediately quips, freezing when the implication reaches his brain. _Shit, shit, SHIT_!

“You like it?”

He’s exposed _. Abort, abort, ABORT_! “Naaaah, it’s a bit chalky.” And he still bought out the store’s entire supply of it and stuffed it in that medieval freezer they have in the Sanctum.

Tony smirks as he rounds Stephen, approaching the still suspiciously fidgeting teens. “Well, Strange Strawberry Sorbet has the same problem, only it’s grainy. But they get bonus points for the alliteration. What are you four plotting over here, hm?”

“Nothing!” all four chant at the same time, confirming some shady shenanigans must be going on with them after all.

“I see you’ve met the gang,” Tony glances at Stephen, putting the bags on his workbench. “Hope they behaved while I was gone. Especially you, Rudemaster Keener,” he points at the blonde.

“Don’t look at me, I did nothing,” Harley rolls his eyes, sneaking a peek at the bags’ contents. “That strawberry thing sounded alright, you got one of those?”

“YEAH! Let’s try your and Doctor Wizard’s ice-creams!” Peter nods, rounding the workbench to get a better look as well.

“No can do, kiddos. They _somehow_ ran out of the two _and_ the Hulk one, too.”

“Awwwwwww. But…I wanted to try those!” Peter whines and pouts. “That’s so sad. FRIDAY? Pl - ”

“PETER PARKER!” Tony squints at the teen, raising a warning finger. “If you even think about telling my AI to play Despacito, _again_ , I swear I will - ”

‘ _Aaaaaaaaaaaay ~ Fonsi! Oh, oh noo~_ ’

“FRIDAY!”

“ _Sorry, boss. But Mr. Leeds has added a line to my coding that compels me to play Despacito whenever the words are mentioned in any context_.”

“You did _what_?” Tony glares at Ned, who takes a step to hide behind Shuri.

“That was child’s play,” the Princess shakes her head. “I told you we should have programmed her to actually sing it, too!”

The weirdly catchy song comes to a stop after Tony slams a couple buttons on the workbench’s holo screen.

“Can you _not_? No more messing with my AIs! Make your own if you want them to do silly meme stuff!” Tony berates them, but Stephen notices the impressed glint in his eyes.

“Our own AI? Can we do that?” Peter looks at Shuri, smile wide and eyes sparkling.

Shuri frowns, pursing her lips. “I wonder…we can try tomorrow.”

“Awesome!” Ned jumps up, sneaking over to Peter for a high five.

“Anyway, ice-cream?” Tony unpacks a few containers form the bags. “Stephen?”

“Uhhh, sure.”

“Unless this is a business visit?”

“No. Not really,” Stephen shrugs and accepts the offered ice-cream.

“Cool! That means you can come with us to the movies tonight!” Peter beams at him.

“We’re going to see the new Maze Runner movie,” Tony explains when Stephen raises an eyebrow at him.

“The what now?”

“I have no idea,” Tony whispers.

“Yeah, you should come, it’ll be fun,” Harley says like he’s reciting it from a previously prepared speech, actually sounding _more_ bored than Wong.

“Why not…I guess?” He doesn’t have anything better to do anyway. Wong’s on guard duty today - as well as he should for all the cheek he’s been giving him since Christmas – and Stephen didn’t really have a plan coming in here. A movie with Tony and the kids sounds innocent enough.

Oh wait. Oh no. Nope. No, it doesn’t. _Abort_!

“Good! That way I won’t be the only person having no idea what the hell is going on,” Tony also beams at him and how could Stephen say no now?! He can’t…

“Is he going to wear this, tho?” Harley leans towards Shuri, eyes roaming over Stephen’s clothing.

The Princess gives him a once over and cracks a disgusted grimace. “I’d hope _not_.”

“Wh…what’s wrong with my clothes?” Stephen leans toward Tony in the same, conspirational way.

“Well, they’re not _clothes_ , for starters – they’re _robes_. And they look like something you stole on an Asian street market somewhere…in the early 1800’s.”

“So what? They’re comfortable…I _like_ them.”

“So do I! On a scale of one – an old and homeless Merlin, to a hundred – a cool lookin’ Death Eater wizard, this puts you on a…fifty…something. But I’m with Shuri on this one. If the Princess is dressing casual tonight, then so can you, right?” Tony grins, putting a spoonful of the cherry ice-cream into his mouth, eyes never leaving Stephen’s.

He is so done for.

 

Stephen portals to the theater half an hour before the movie is supposed to begin, wearing jeans, a simple white shirt and a dark hoodie – a combination he wouldn’t wear even before becoming a wizard and now it just makes him feel…bizarre. He must _look_ bizarre as well.

Judging by the mischievous smirk that spread across Tony’s face when the engineer spots him, maybe he doesn’t.

He should have kept the Cloak at least.

“There you go. You clean up nice, Doctor Wizard,” he winks at him from behind the red and gold shades, putting his hands in his own jeans’ pockets. He’s got a fancy jacket on top of a colorful shirt with an arrow pointing up, saying ‘I’m with Stank’ – obviously another one of Rhodey’s creations – but he’s definitely the most casual Stephen’s ever seen him in public.

And he should probably stop staring now.

“Where’s the gang?”

“Happy’s bringing them over from Queens. May cooked dinner for them…so I assume they will all be eager to get out of there. Not to mention hungry. We should go for burgers after the movie’s over.”

“Sure. Love clogging my arteries on Friday nights.”

“Exactly! I’m thinking curly fries, too,” Tony hums, ignoring Stephen’s obvious sarcasm.

Huh…he might be swayed for curly fries though.

Apparently Tony reserved a small viewing hall for private parties – such as theirs – but as the hour of the screening approaches, the teens are still nowhere to be seen.

“Where are you?!” Tony demands into the phone, Peter’s reply ringing so loud even Stephen can hear it.

“ _We’re running late! Don’t worry about it, Mr. Stark! Just start without us!_ ”

“Well, you heard it,” Tony turns to him after ending the call. “Let’s grab the popcorn and go.”

“Hm. What _is_ that movie about anyway?!”

“I don’t know. Running? In mazes…or something. This is like the third part already according to FRIDAY! Who makes three movies about maze running?!”

“Peter Jackson?”

Tony snorts, handing him four packs of popcorn he must have purchased while waiting for everyone. “You wish. I bet this is some…young adult targeted crap like that thing from way back when…about them glowing vampires?”

“Uuuuuuuuugh, don’t mention that one, ever, please. Do you have any idea how many ER cases that movie caused?! A guy wanted to be all cool and jump across the forest on tree branches – shattered knee and broken bones in both legs. A girl with two puncture holes in her neck – I didn’t even want to know _how_ that happened! And don’t get me started on that idiot who thought applying peroxide on his face would make him look more white and vampire-y!”

Tony’s in a legit laughing fit by the end of it, barely able to walk straight on their way to the viewing room. “N-no way…”

“What? It’s true. You think Lord of the Rings was any better? I was still an intern when the ER gossip was all about the now legendary story about two brothers re-enacting that scene…with the Ring and everything in Mount Doom? Well, one ended up almost biting the other’s finger off!”

 “Staph!”

“And then there’s the Star Wars super fan who though he could easily win a fight against three older boys – just because he had a toy lightsaber and the _high ground_.”

“I c-c-an’t breathe…!”

“Speaking of which, a twenty-something grown woman though she could spice up her boyfriend’s proposal by fainting like Keira Knightly in that pirate movie? She wasn’t standing on a cliff – thank God – but she still fell two stories down from a fancy restaurant’s balcony into some garbage bins so…”

Tony keeps on crying from laughter through the entire ten minutes of the movie so Stephen takes that as a win. He tries focusing on the questionable plot and characters from there on but fails. He has no idea what’s going on – seeing the first two parts could have probably helped…or just as well deter him from even coming here tonight to see this one.

And the now calmed down engineer doesn’t seem to be any wiser. “The fck ‘s g’in’ on?!” he comments through a mouthful of popcorn about half an hour into the movie.

“No clue. They’re…doing the thing to get to that other thing in that whatever thing…,” Stephen shrugs, before eating some popcorn himself.

A weird movie, uncomfortable seats, some overpriced popcorn…good company. It’s almost like a…a _date_.

Stephen quickly shakes his head to get rid of that thought. Nope. Not a date. They’re here with the kids!

The kids that are _still not here_.  

“Where are they?!” he whispers to Tony, who’s intently staring at the movie screen now.

“Dude. How should I know? That place…wherever they were at the beginning. Is that it, even?! Fuck if I know.”

Stephen rolls his eyes and shifts in the seat to turn towards Tony some more. “ _Dude_. I mean the kids! And don’t call me dude…”

“S’what I’m talking about, _asshole_! The damn kids! They’re running around all over the place, how am I supposed to follow this damn plot?!”

“Not _those_ kids!” he waves at the screen. “I mean _our_ kids, douchebag!” 

He did _not_ just say that. He did NOT just -

“Oh, damn. You’re right,” Tony looks around like he’s just now realizing the lack of teen energy in the room. He immediately fumbles for his phone and thankfully seems completely oblivious to Stephen’s slip. “Happy! Where are you? We’re almost half way through this movie and I have no idea what’s going on in it! What do you mean you won’t make it?! Peter? This whole thing was his idea and now he’s…you know what, never mind.”

He stares at the phone in disbelief before turning to Stephen. “We’ve been stood up,” he blurts out.

“St…they’re not coming?!” Stephen’s brows hit the ceiling.

“Nope.”

“Why?” he asks, prolonging the y and squinting.

“That’s a funny story – at least according to Peter. They were playing Super Mario after dinner and Shuri owned their asses so they demanded vengeance and then Happy showed up and beat _all of them_ …singlehandedly declaring war on Tennessee, Wakanda and the all of Queens so…”

“They’re playing a video game.”

“Yep.”

“They _ditched us_ to play a video game.”

“Yeeeep.”

“With Happy.”

“Uh hm.”

Stephen inhales, closing his eyes for a moment. “That’s…”

“I know.”

“…ridiculous. Not to mention insulting.”

“I _know_.”

“Great…so…what now? You want to finish the movie?”

“Hell no, let’s get the fuck out of here,” he smirks, putting on his shades and getting up. “Kids ditched us so we are totally ditching them back and going for those burgers alone. Their loss.”

They sneak out of the theater and walk to a decent looking bistro a few blocks away, enjoying a hefty portion of fast food and a good conversation.

So what if that was _almost_ a date.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As promised, here's something to start you off for the weekend ahead! <3 
> 
> Inhale the fluff and remember how it smells like...it won't be back for a while from here on :3 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

On Valentine’s day, Stephen decides to avoid Wong like the plague. Which turns out to be rather difficult once a certain spider-sensed superhero decides to stick to the man like glue.

Avoiding Wong is one thing, but avoiding Peter I-can-find-people-in-the-mirror-dimension Parker is next to impossible.

“Doctor Wizard! I know _you’re_ not going to say no!” Peter all but jumps him in the Sanctum’s hallway, Wong in toe.

“Something is already making me want to say it, but do go on.”

“There’s going to be a dance - ”

“No.”

“ – and it’s got like a masquerade theme, super cool – ”

“Absolutely not.”

“ – but May is working late so she can’t come – ”

“And neither can I.”

“ – to take us home - ”

“Oh.”

“ – and it’s on the other side of town and she’s all worried and stuff because it’s gonna be late and – ”

“Alright, when?”

“10PM at this address!” Peter grins, whipping out a piece of paper out of nowhere and giving it to the Cloak’s eager hem.

“10PM?! That’s not even - ”

“Thanks, Doctor! You’re the best!” Peter shouts, already half-way out of the Sanctum by then.

Stephen scoffs, snapping his gaze to the also grinning Wong. “And what are _you_ doing so important you couldn’t portal the kids home, hm?”

“Oh lots of things, big plans tonight.”

“Uhuh.”

“And they’re not _my_ kids, so…,” he adds and walks away, whistling.

“Wh - ! You’re saying that like they’re _mine_. Do _I_ look like the dad type to you?!” he asks, but it only makes Wong whistle louder.

The day goes by and Stephen spends it reading all alone in Kamar-Taj, telling himself that Valentine’s day is nothing but a cheap ploy to sell ridiculously overpriced chocolates and make single people mad.

What a load of crap. Not that he’s mad or anything…

He returns to the Sanctum just before ten, quickly checks if everything is in order and then portals to the street he’s googled with the address Peter gave him. And just few houses down across the street, there’s definitely a party going on what with the flashing lights and loud beats of music coming from the inside. 

Stephen walks over there, all the while typing a quick message to Peter telling him he’s waiting outside.

It doesn’t take him long to realize he might be at the wrong address.

Not only is this place a bar – then again, how many teenagers would be deterred by that – but the party inside is most definitely of a more mature nature than a simple ‘masquerade dance’ thing would be.

“Not bad,” a guy tells him, after giving him a thorough once over. “Bit medieval, but who am I to judge people’s kinks, amirite?” he chuckles and disappears in the entrance with a sly grin.

What the –

“The fuck?” a familiar voice finishes his thought out loud, making Stephen whirl around. It _is_ Tony. What is _he_ doing here? “Well this can’t be right,” Tony fishes a paper out of his pocket and squints at whatever’s written on it.

“Tony?”

“Hm? Oh. Oh shit, where’d _you_ come from, doc?” he asks, forgetting all about the paper in favor of smiling at Stephen.

“Me? I’m supposed to meet Peter here, where did _you_ come from?!”

“My mother. Or so I hope. But all kidding aside, this most _definitely_ cannot be right then.”

Five minutes of confused fumbling later, they come to the conclusion that they are both here to meet Peter and they both have to have the wrong address, because there’s no way anyone would have let a bunch of teenagers inside this Fifty Shades crack den.

“It’s a four,” Tony tells him after a quick call with Peter. “Hoooooooow is that a _four_?” he shows him the two papers with the address written on them.

“That’s not a four, that’s a - ”

“A nine, right? Well guess what? This other one? This is not a two either, it’s a five. A _five_!”

“What?! _Hooooow_?!”

“I _know_ , right?!”

“I scribble real bad but at least I have a doctorate to explain it with!”

“You’re exactly right. But it explains why we’re in the wrong place,” Tony chuckles, looking at the bar.

“Alright then, let’s go - ”

“ _And_! The kids already got a cab so…this was a gigantic waste of time.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be in Japan? Until Friday?” Stephen frowns, only now questioning why they’re _both_ here.

“Yep. Got cancelled. So I sent Peter a text I would be coming for them after all. A text he clearly forgot.”

“Or _ignored_ ,” Stephen muses out loud.

“Anyway. Drinks? I’ve got a car around the corner, but I’ll just have Happy pick it up. This is a nice part of town,” Tony looks around, admiring the view. “There oughta be some good places to get a drink.”

“Uhhh, not this one, though,” Stephen points at the bar behind them, more shady personas in questionable clothing – or lack thereof – pouring in and out of it.

“Yeah, we’re totally overdressed for _that_ party. Let’s find something more low-key,” Tony winks at him and marches towards the other end of the street with all the confidence one single man can possess.

When Stephen speaks to Peter later that week, he doesn’t even have the heart to jokingly scold him for wasting his time that night, since hanging out with Tony in an absolutely not low-key Irish pub was anything by a waste of time.

 

 

“What in the world…?”

Stephen looks up from his book and sees Tony tiptoeing across the Sanctum’s relic hall, trying to avoid the shattered glass. “The hell were you doing in here, practicing _Reducto_?”

“Nope. Wasn’t me,” Stephen answers, returning his focus to the reading. “It was Mjolnir.”

“You stole Mjolnir?! I know you sorcerers are all about relic hunting, it’s like your Pokemons I guess, but the last person you want to steal from is Thor.”

He sighs, snaps the book close and stands up to meet the nearing engineer. “I didn’t steal it. Thor was here this morning.”

And so was Loki. Stephen didn’t intend to leave him falling in that portal for almost half an hour…but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy doing it. Just a liiiiittle bit of payback against the trickster God.

“He was?!” Tony blurts out. “Man…I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“Nothing to see, really.”

Tony finally traverses the space between them and comes to a stop next to him, arms crossed and eyes inspecting him from underneath golden shades.

“ _Nothing to see_. That’s a first when it comes to people describing Thor – an actual _God_ of Asgard. Usually the description is more detailed. Perfectly sculpted face, spectacular abs made of steel, majestic hair straight out of a L’Oréal commercial… _nothing to see_ sounds like something written on a jealous hater’s blog that nobody reads,” Tony smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. “Looks like the Sorcerer Supreme is _jealous_.”

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of Thor, the mighty Point Break.”

“Ridiculous.”

“Stephen is jeeeaaalous,” he teases.

“Why would I be jealous of someone with the intellectual capacity of a potato? Please, I have standards.”

“Oh really. I’ll have you know that Thor is actually very smart. He might not be Earth-savvy, but I’m pretty sure he has to dumb down a lot of stuff when explaining extraterrestrial things to us.”

“Hm. You might want to dumb down the purpose of the computer to him then so his super smart self can understand emails.”

“You really are jealous, aren’t you?” Tony purses his lips.

“Not at all. As I said, I have standards when it comes to the intelligence of the people I acquaint myself with.”

“Well then by your standards I must be the most scolding, hottest piece of brain walking on Earth then.”

Yep. He couldn’t say it better himself if he tried.

“You wish,” he scoffs but quickly starts walking away through the carnage to get that pesky creeping blush out of Tony’s sight.

“Who else could _possibly_ compete with my genius?” Tony trails after him, the smirk very much audible in the question.

“Steve Jobbs?”

“Yeah, how about someone who’s still alive? The words _dead competition_ mean anything to you?”

“Elon Musk?”

“Pfffft. He wants to go to Mars by 2020, what an ambition! I could go to Mars right now if I wanted to.”

“Yet you still bought his car.”

“So what?”

“It’s your favorite, too,” Stephen adds, his smirk growing exponentially as Tony’s shrinks.

“ _And_? He’s got a StarkPhone too and I bet it’s _his_ favorite! Not to mention half of his cars have _my_ engines in them so please. Just admit it here and now that I’m the sexiest brain alive on this Earth and in this dimension.”

Stephen rolls his eyes and repeats it monotonously: “You’re the sexiest brain alive on Earth and in this dimension.”

“Thank you. Now are you with me or what?”

“What?” he stops, turning sideways to face Tony.

“The Rangers game tonight?”

“The _what_?”

“What do you mean _what_ , that’s why I came here in the first place!”

“The only thing you’ve said since coming here is how messed up this room is and how everyone not fancying Thor is just jealous of him, so what are you even talking about, _douchebag_.”

Tony beams and puts his index fingers up. “Rangers are playing tonight.”

“Okay, I will pretend I know who that is and what they’re playing, go on.”

 “ _I_ will pretend you didn’t just say that. Not that I’m the biggest hockey fan…or any sports fan, but I wouldn’t just throw VIP tickets for stuff out of the window like that all the time. Besides, Peter and Ned invited us.”

Stephen doesn’t even know what to think about Peter _inviting them_ places anymore – or how did Peter get his hands on VIP hockey tickets. It started with the movie and now he just invites them _everywhere_. And most of the time, he doesn’t even bother to show up which ends with Stephen awkwardly tagging after Tony, who always comes up with something they can do instead.

Dinners, drinks, art galleries, party crashing, walking in the park…and Stephen doesn’t know what to think about _that_ either.

“Why?” he asks.

“Because M - ”

“Oh let me guess. May is working tonight so she can’t go and they would end up all alone on a hokey game and have nobody to make sure they don’t buy cheap beer and questionable hot dogs in there and nobody to take them home after.”

“Uhhh…no. May hates hockey. Well, maybe not hockey per say, but she hates the cold in the stadiums. Whatever, Peter got extra tickets and May won’t go so it’s either us or the Deli guy from the store he does groceries at.”

Some random grocery guy? Unacceptable.

So he of course agrees even though he’s never seen a game of hockey ever and arrives at the stadium just in time to meet Tony at the VIP lounge – alone.

Again.

Because apparently, Peter got grounded and Ned won’t go without his bro…or whatever it is he tells Tony on the phone.

They end up watching the game anyway, making fun of it all the way through while taking a good advantage of the buffet and bar.  

By the end of the night, he thinks nothing of the suspicion taking root in his mind when it comes to Peter and these impromptu invites – and no-shows.

 

 

When Tony comes bursting through the Sanctum’s door just as Stephen’s about to go for lunch with Wong, asking: “Are we dating?”, he realizes he probably should have paid more attention to that particular suspicion.

“I’ll wait outside,” Wong tells him and quickly hops down the stairs and walks out, his neutral face already cracking with a laugh that splits the silence the moment the doors close behind him.

The Cloak alerts to the commotion, flying in to wrap around his shoulders, changing the casual attire Stephen still doesn’t fancy back into the robes.

“Excu…excuse me?” Stephen takes a few steps down toward Tony, his voice nearly drowning in Wong’s only slightly muffled laugh.

Tony hops up a few stairs to level with him. “Dating. You. Me. Are we? Come on, keep up, wizard. It's not an essay question.”

“I heard you the first time. Hearing is one thing, believing on the other hand…”

Tony blinks at him and the deadly serious façade cracks with annoyance. “Really. Because _I’ve_ been reliably told by my Dating advisor Supreme – aka Rhodey – that we’ve been low-key dating for months now. Also – and I quote – we’re apparently both gigantic, oblivious idiots that need to get their shit together.”

“Rhodey. _Rhodey_ is about just as qualified to be something like that as Wong.”

“Yeah. _Exactly_ ,” Tony points out.

Stephen snaps his mouth shut and blinks. “What did Wong tell you? So I know what to write down as cause of death on his gravestone.”

“Uhhhh the exact same thing as Rhodey, actually. Which I thought was already suspicious enough,” he takes a step closer to him and squints, “but now it seems like there was a _lot more_ he could have told me. So spill it, Doctor Wizard. Are we dating or what? Because if we’re not then…that’s fine…I guess. Wouldn’t be my first friend-zone. But if we _are_ then you tell me right the fuck now, because I can do _so_ much better than this low-key, PG rated bullshit we’ve been doing the past half a year.”

“What?” Stephen blurts out, gaping at the man.

“What?” Tony mimics him, the squinty glare intensifying. “This really isn’t an essay question. Or a trick question. I’m not even checking your state of consciousness. Although judging by your paling complexion I probably should. So…six figures in Pi?”

Stephen shakes his head, trying to prompt his brain back to full activity. “You’re… _you’re_ asking _me_ if we’re _dating_.”

“Oh god, do I need to call 911? Yes, Stephen. That was the question.”

“ _Are we_?”

“Don’t answer something like this with another question, you asshole!”

“Oh I’m sorry, but maybe I don’t have an actual answer, douchebag!”

“You _what_?! Do you need a 50/50? Oh wait, it’s a yes or no question! How about phone a friend? Wong! Are we a) dating or b) not dating!” he yells.

“You’re c) complete morons! Leave me out of this!” Wong shouts from beyond the closed doors.

Tony flails, looking back at Stephen. “Well, that only leaves the help of the audience. Should _I_ call for the press conference or are _you_ going to?”

“I don’t know!” Stephen snaps, his brain still refusing to cooperate. “I don’t know if we’re dating!”

“Do you _want to_ date?!” Tony asks, rolling his eyes.

“Do _you_?!”

Tony facepalms and walks down the few stairs he took up before. When he turns around his face is completely blank. For a scary moment, Stephen thinks this is it.

He got a chance handed to him on a silver platter and he botched it. And Tony’s just going to walk out and he’s never going to get another chance to make it right. To restart this goddamn stubborn brain of his and say what he really wants to say.

But when his eyes lock with Tony’s and he spots the sparkly flashes of amusement and…and something new entirely, instead of disappointment or anger, that fear is gone in an instant.

“Dude. You’re the hottest piece of brain I’ve met since 2012,” Tony smirks. “Oh wait, nope. That was _also you_ back in 2012. So what if _dating_ wasn’t exactly what I had in mind…lot has changed since then,” he shrugs and the smirk fades into an unusually uncertain grimace. “Not to mention my playboy reputation has been dead for a lot longer than I’d care to admit. I’m…that’s not what I’m looking for anymore.”

It’s either a divine intervention or maybe that not so gentle shove the Cloak gives him, but when he descends the stairs to meet the man, his brain finally decides to kick back into action. “Me neither.”

Tony nods, lips quirking upward. “So…what _are_ you looking for?”

He shrugs, looking down for a moment to think. “I’m not sure. Wanna help me figure it out?” he looks back up to Tony, a tiny smile playing on his lips.

“Hmmm. With two so blatantly oblivious idiots like us, that figuring out bit might take a _while_ ,” Tony returns the smile and if it’s not the most perfect thing Stephen’s ever seen, he doesn’t know what is.

“I’ve got time.”

The smile widens and gains a mischievous flare on the way. “As it happens, so do I,” he leans in a little closer. “How about we ditch Wong behind that door and go somewhere…for a proper date.”

“I know a place,” Stephen grins and takes Tony’s hand, ready to portal them halfway across the world but just then, something bursts through the Sanctum and plummets down into the stairs where they stood just moments ago.

“What the…,” Tony frowns and they sprint up to inspect the giant hole, Wong just a step behind them, hands already weaving with magic.

Stephen takes and offensive stance between the two men and squints through the darkness and flying dust, spotting a human shape collapsed at the bottom.

He’s seen some weird things happen in the Sanctum, but a guy shooting down from the sky like a cannon ball and apparently _surviving_ , going by the ragged breathing, is definitely a first.

When the dust settles and the man’s very naked features become visible, Stephen’s first impulse is to ask who he is. That’s before a spark of recognition makes him reconsider – there’s only so many times he cannot recognize an Avenger when he meets one and this one he’s already met.

All those years ago.

“Bruce?!” Tony steals the name from his lips but the man below seems to still be in a haze and doesn’t react to his friend at all.

Instead, he stutters out a sentence that will haunt Stephen for the rest of his days. Because it’ll be just that – _days_.

“Thanos…Thanos is coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUUUUN!
> 
> So...who's with me off to Titan now? Nobody? Good. Because all I really want is to put Stephen and the Roguevengers into one room, get a chair into the corner, sit down with a bowl of popcorn and _watch_. But okay, we'll deal with the purple bitch first and dive deep into angst, depression and horrible character deaths first! ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Let the games begin :D
> 
> Next and last chapter before YOU-KNOW-WHAT will be up on Friday. Or earlier. Maybe :3 Again, depends on how much my fingertips are melting against the keyboard.


End file.
